Dear Bloggerinos,
I was just settling down to a warm bowl of chicken soup pie. It's actually quite good, and if you would like some for your Christmas dinner table, you had better get your orders in soon. For simplicity just include your order with the usual comments and praise of yours truly.
I got a new job yesterday, and I wasn't even looking for one. It just goes to show how much God loves and wants to bless us. It was one of those spontaneous job interviews to see how well I thought on my feet. Obviously, I did quite well. Starting this Monday, I will be tying bags closed in a secure fashion so little fish cannot escape into the floorboard of automobiles thus making small children cry. That really is my job description. Unfortunately, like my previous occupation, this too is a highly stressful job, but the hours are much better. This job really just fell into my lap. Let me tell you how it happened.
I was at the local pet store and was planning to purchase some roomates for my 5 year old fish "Buddy." There was no help in sight. So I sojourned down the dog biscuit aisle to find a young clerk arranging a display of doggy Christmas stockings. The following dialogue ensues:
Chris: "Excuse me, miss."
Charming Clerk: "What!?"
Chris: (Taken aback and fighting back laughter) "Could I possibly get assistance with some fish?"
Charming Clerk: "Michelle! You busy?"
Charming Clerk #2: "Yeah!"
Charming Clerk: "Ok, so you want some fish?"
Chris: "Yes, please."
Charming Clerk: "Alright. Sorry about saying 'What' earlier. It has been a long day, and I'm 'bout to get off. Which ones do you reckon you want."
Chris: "How 'bout. I mean how about one of these orange gouramis and that pleco there."
Charming Clerk: "Alright. Hey! Are they supposed to be that skinny? Oh my, look at that one. Ooh, that's gross. (As she pointed at a fish belly up in the adjacent tank with some scavenger fish taking advantage of their roomate's unfortunate mishap) My, they sure are tricky to catch. Got'em. Hey, do you mind tying this bag up so the fish don't get out. I would do it, but my hands are wet. That'll be $7 even, and you might want to keep your reciept in case one of them dies on you. There is a week's warranty.
And that is how I came to be an employee of the local pet store. Pretty smart interview process if you ask me. I'm sure it really weeds out those who can't handle the pressure when they are put on the spot. It will be such a privilege to work for someone who thinks outside of the box like that. The ironic part is that I had just come from another job interview and merely wanted to buy some fish. Well, needless to say, in the end they made me a better offer. The financial incentive was just icing on the pie; because honestly, they had me at "What?".
4 comments:
Whoa...you are working at a pet store? As a veterinarian? Is this a side job? I'm so confused...
i am confused too...
It was a joke. The only untruthitude to the whole parable was the part about me actually taking the job. It is frustrating that sarcasm does not apparently translate because most of my blogs are meant to be such. I'll try to lay it on a little thicker in the future. I just thought this was a really funny experience, and I just wanted to add a little more flare to it.
Lately, I see that people love their animals too much. I plan on recovering our beloved cat's bones, and have professionals put them back together using similar techniques they would use reassembling dinosaur bones for museums. If you have a dog, especially a mean dog, you might want to leave it in a thicket or dispose of it. You may consider ending their misery, and their place in your heart. Could you do that? I know a beautiful girl..a woman now, who's mother has nine felines. I know weirdo substitute and gym teachers who have lions etc. caged up in their front yards. I might fit right in with those folks, but I still don't want to be in their click.. I would like to meet A deceased capybara. If not, it's ok if she's breathing..I like that too. One must use caution..After a few hours, animals who have passed, tend to send out mixed signals..
by the way.. I am being sarcastic.
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